Comeback

I'm sitting alone with my family, But it feels like I'm nothing but an outsider. The place is all loud, giggly, But to me, it's just how it was before. I feel out of place, But at the same time, there The world feels blue, But I can't give it away even if it's true Some people say, sigh, "I wish things were like before." But I can't because I don't. I don't wish things were like before, I wish they were like after I wish I could jump into the future when things would be way better than they are now, I wish I could shut myself out and never talk again until people have changed, the world has changed. That's what I wish And I know, I know the world might never change, That all it takes to change is effort, But does it? What about when I'm too tired to put effort? What about me when I don't wanna be an expert? What about when I'm too damn drained to fight for things that I don't know if would ever change? What if this hope is out of my range? I know how to fight, It does not mean I'm weak But I'm human, I'm allowed to shriek. So dear people, just cut me some slack I need some energy before a comeback From my book "The Pain of Existence"