Code

I need someone  To crack this code  Before I grab the gun I cant be in suicide mode  I'm on my deathbed  And no one knows  All because of what they said  My suicidal ideation grows All the words that don't exist  They are stuck in my head  I can't resist And lay in my bed  Can someone crack the code  Pease do it  Before I overload  Because then I can't sit  I lay on the deathbed  No one cares  About what's in my head  asking, no one dares