~christmas shit~

It's christmas night but all I see are gray Walls and a dim light. Instead it should be bright and I, should sit with family and friends tonight. why am I alone? I remember when I was a child, I loved to decorate the christmas tree. I loved the hanging Stars. Now all I want to hang on the tree is myself. No one would care anyways. They are out there drinking tea and mulled wine, Eating cookies and I cry. ~M~