Childhood

Growing up i didn't speak. I had not spoken until I was four or five. I went through therapy, my mom wishing I spoke. Now here I am wishing I was silenced and would just stop talking. Growing up I saw things, scary people, monsters they spoke to me. Now here I am still seeing people not scared anymore and I'm talking to them. Growing up my family got split apart because of my brothers. We were splitting apart like wood being torn apart by an axe. I didn't understand why I was losing my brother and why I could see him. Now here I am looking at him in disgust with what I now know he did. Growing up my mother and brother screamed at eachother for hours. I use to always take my brother's side. I would listen in making sure nothing bad would happen. eventually getting tired of it and just walking to a friend's house. Now here I am resenting my brother and hating the person he is. I take my mother's side on everything. Yet I am still scared to speak to her in fear I'll turn into my brother. Growing up I was scared to speak I was scared speaking was talking back and that it was wrong to voice an opinion or speak up for myself or to even have an emotion as cruel as anger. Now here I am a person who speaks up.