Chasing Numb

Everyone has those times in their life where experiencing emotion is too much. It's like a tangle of jungle brush to feel so much at once. You know that there are insects and snakes, predators and prey, you just cannot see because there's too much green. It's - unnerving to know that you are seen, but that you cannot see them. These are the moments that we wish to be numb. The emotions are too thick to even see. So what do we do? Some people choose to run through the jungle in search of an open area. Potentially they will find a beautiful river or creek. I would argue that that is a healthy way to deal with these things. But there are those that don't seek to find peace. They seek to destroy the emotion altogether. To be Numb Pull out a match. Light it on fire. All the spiders and snakes are gone. The predators run as well. It feels safe knowing that these things are not watching you. But you didn't just hurt them. You hurt everything around you. You have become the epicenter of destruction. What is left to do, but to sit in the ashes of your decision. An impulsive movement that cannot be stopped and cannot be fixed. In our pursuit of ending the suffering, we have become the monsters ourselves.