change

you're in a hallway you see a door you know you have to open the door you have to enter the room behind it you don't feel well you haven't for awhile but you know the door is there and it's waiting so you grab the handle and close your eyes breath in breath out prepare yourself you must be ready one last breath the door is opened your stomach is turning your head starts to hurt "you look so happy!" I know I try I try hard really hard you smile wide you hug them you kiss them you feel the nausea become worse "how do you always have a pleasant look on your face?" you say you didn't even realize you say you don't know you say you're just happy always happy your head feels like a balloon there's too much air don't pop it's not worth it "are you okay?" you freeze you feel your heart beating faster your ears flood with the sound of blood your blood flowing through your veins I'm okay of course I'm okay I'm always okay