Can't save myself

I think my mind was built to break, to carry more than it can take, to turn small problems into wars, then leave me bleeding on the floor. I learned to hide what hurt me most, to smile like I was doing close, while every night I fought myself with thoughts I couldn’t place on shelves. There’s anger sleeping in my chest, there’s emptiness that never rests, there’s sadness stitched into my veins like I was born attached to pain. And maybe that’s the hardest part — how good I got at playing calm, while every person looking in never saw the state I’m in. I overthink till I feel numb, then hate the person I become, a ghost inside my own reflection, desperate just for some connection. Still somehow, underneath the ache, beneath the cracks I cannot shake, a part of me still wants to heal, still wants a life that feels more real.