...can.relate ...!

.... there are some moments in my life that transpire and occur ...with overwelming intensity ..... "..i.can.relate ..." it begins with a sudden thought or misplaced circumstance ... it is overwhelming .. "...I.understand..." it's so powerful in it wave of emotional accuracy like an arrow going straight thru my heart .... it is sooo.. wrenching ... I am so terrified .... so ..hopless... I need to get to you..!!! fix it ... hope is just dangling on a string... so...I follow ... until it turns around a corner into a forsaken alley...way.... so dark so creepling... I can't reach it ... it's so far away.. from.. me... so endlessly hoplessly out of reach I hide from the objects of my own insanity.. ".... it's.gonna.b.ok ..." I can't say the word ... for they make them real... I can't look at u ...because it triggers a horrific thought ...memory ... of what isn't now.... I can't cut deep enough ...fuck ...fuck... can't endure any type of pain .... even ... physical ..... their is a tolerance to my mental state ...... and that is already so un deniably unlatched.. ..... the doors have opened up for my demons to walk free... and honestly .... lol .. I have no clue how to get them back inside......