calm down , love

No one breaks these walls. I built them too high. I see my growth from a sobbing mess to three tears. My maximum. No soothing words. No heavenly whispers. None needed. I have my hands, and a pen to calm the storm. She can’t meet my eyes. Not anymore. It’s not big still, it breaks me. Slapped so hard it hurts to smile. Always told the grass is greener. Can’t they see the pesticides eating me? She was meant to hold me in my hardest hours. Instead, the future presses down, and I lose. I need love. care. Studying isn’t hard living with this is. No one noticed the smile fade, the spark dim, the glint leave my eyes. They see me every day a hollow model, painted bright, hiding all my grey