burdens of past

I often find myself mad at me For not being the normal everyone wants me to be Then again, I am what you see Someone who cannot be free Whether it's life or my own thoughts that I mentally read damn its time again for my demons to feed Which doubts will they get me to seed? Now scars begin to bleed A beautiful, hot mess? Naw, that's just how I normally dress Problems extend out when I'm overly depressed Even after all sins confessed Running into a panic state of distress Heart over beating in my chest My body feeling compressed My mind completely stressed As a person, I begin to feel less and less More vulnerable at this stage Still trapped inside an open cage No more fire, will or rage How can I move further if I'm too weak to even turn the page? I feel I should be farther at this age Yet this war on myself I continue to wage