'Brother'

I have realized that I don't have many memories with my brother. Not good ones anyway. He was always gone I guess. I don't know where he could have gone though, because he never had any friends. Maybe he was hiding, like I was hiding from him. Walking around him like I'm on a tightrope, or climbing a mountain. One wrong step and all hell breaks loose. The fucked up thing is, if he died.....I wouldn't give two shits. Of course, I would be there for my mother. And my sisters. But I can not, in any way, grieve over someone that was never good to me. I don't expect people to understand. But I can not be blamed for this hatred and numbness I have for him. -The lover