Broken and Alone

It feels like a bottomless pit of despair. No friends. Hardly anyone to call family. Trapped in a box that continues to close in. I cry out for help, but only perceived as a nuisance. On my hands and knees, I scream out in pain from the sheer loneliness of my life. I try to connect to others, but I fail. Like a cosmic joke of tragedy, I'm doomed to feel alone no matter the struggle. The ones I once called friends no longer speak to me. My family, either dead or distant. But it's not like I reach out, either. Loathing the need for virtual communication. It feels like nothing more than a farce. No real emotions, just the touch of a cold screen. Maybe my expectations are too high or my boundaries too thick. All I know is every connection I make, is another connection lost. Sometimes my mind decides being alone isn't so bad, only until the hole in my heart reminds me of the deep pain there is when it is empty. Not even halfway through my life, but I feel like I've lived a thousand years of torment. My losses are many in my eyes, yet insignificant in the eyes of others in their own world. I do not ask for anyone hold my problems, but merely a shoulder to cry on.