bound to deception

I learned young that silence keeps you whole, That words, like poison, seep into the soul. Emotions, they said, were chains you’d wear— Weakness wrapped in every whispered prayer. The Bible was a blade, sharp in their hands, To cut me down, to make their final stand. “Feelings are sin,” they'd carve into my mind, So I buried them deep, left truth behind. Now when I speak, it’s a jagged sound, Like broken glass tearing through sacred ground. I try to care, but the words feel wrong, Twisted and cold, where they don’t belong. Am I the monster they swore I'd be? Or just a shadow of who I was meant to see? It’s hard to cry when you’ve learned to fight, When you’ve been taught that pain makes you right. But anger is easy—it slips through the cracks, A shield that guards, a voice that attacks. And when I try to love, it’s all but lost, A ghost of warmth, paid in blood and cost. I never wanted to sound so cruel, But every tear’s a reminder—I’m the fool. Taught to choke on truth, to swallow pride, Because feeling makes you weak inside. So here I stand, a fortress of stone, Unable to express what I’ve never known. My words are daggers, my heart is bare— A soul conditioned not to care.