Borderline

Here one moment and gone the next Never should've sent that angry text Now the world is mad at me And I don't have the remedy Another fucking apology Because I can't control me I am aware of my flaws I know I'm not normal But I'm constantly explaining The root of the pain and It's tough to understand But it's not planned I really struggle to reign in The thoughts going insane In my mind when a thing Starts happening Colour blind to hue balance There's barely a chance To bite my tongue Before the damage is done The guilt is another thing Utterly draining I fuck up again What do I say? If I say it's my illness They'll say it's excuses I have to be humble When I stumble Apologize again It won't happen again. But I can't promise that I can't change how I react In a day... like Rome I need a home For my thoughts The ones not forgot But I still feel responsible When it causes trouble. The guilt eats at me Not to mention the anxiety It damn nearly kills me And that's not exaggerating Well over fifty dents In my past attempts Hundreds of pills And therapy bills Just coping Focusing on the sting Instead of the pain And the apologies again When will it end? Well... when I'm dead There'll be freedom Then my