Bloodly Promises

I see my life pass by and wonder where it all went I look back at the happier times The moments of pleasent peace and comfort Free from relentless stress anxeity and the depression From the many faults that keep me from slumber I look back on the many friends ive lost along the way The world seemed so open and ready for me Yet i see it through new lens , that world was waiting For me and you for us to live and it all came crashing down I wonder why me , for i like many others dont deseve this Why did i have to suffer the pain , shame and anguish Why do i see others thrive while i lay here bottle in hand Perhaps its in my nature to fight suffer recover repeat Perhaps thats how ill die , gun in hand Note in the other