Blood (tw: sh)

⛓️🩸 I don't want to bleed beads I want to gush streams of blood But I can't ever pierce deep enough Because it stings too much. But what else can I do? when tears are not enough And words are not a choice; I'm too afraid to use my voice- As if there's anything you can do. ⛓️🩸 Therefore I use blood. I fly red flags on my skin. But I cover up them up because I don't want to frighten or upset anyone Or fracture the walls I've built up. And yet, I feel neglected when no-one notices And gutted when I lie through my teeth and make my excuses. as if it's not by my own will that I remain isolated... ⛓️🩸 "I fell" was the latest one- No, no, I'm okay! Don't help me up. I don't want to stain you, I don't want to taint you, with all my filthy blood ⛓️🩸 So don't fret over me, don't dwell on me, don't bother yourself with my self-inflicted suffering. I caused my own misery, so don't worry at all. I can hide it all. I'll get over it, I've done it before ⛓️🩸