Blame Me

Blame. That's what it boils down to at times like this. When we ask, "why", we are simply looking for reason in despair. Who could have stepped in, but didn't? What signs were missed? By whom? When? Let me put your mind at ease now. This is a battle I've long fought. Each day has been a fist fight with oblivion. Each failure, a tsunami of unworthiness. Each rejection, an indictment of the man I am. Could you have known? Not really. That was the point. So, the blame is, always was, and ever will be, mine. I chose to fight alone. Will you ever understand? I think it unlikely. I hardly do, so why should you? Just know that, to me, the only thing worse than failing at this life would have been to hoist that burden on you. So, in this note, allow me to dispel the thought. You didn't do this. I'm the one. Me.