Blame.

With you, I had "destructive" phases I had "deeply in love" phases Is it my fault- you only saw the negative part is it my mistake- you couldn't accept the way I am am I too much to take when I had novels kind of love for you where I admired every single thing and am scared of every single thing leaving me that's my anxiety where you let me go where I struggled and destroyed myself to accept your decision to let you go as well now I find myself - blaming me one day, blaming you the other, the loop of misery and confusion, ask me what I was doing at 3am, ask me what I was doing at 3pm, I'm caught in figuring YOU out, that is how much I want to understand and give love to you, I still look for opportunities to make it right, although my answer doesn't change, despite the dreams of you and me, I had to let you go because I know very well, we are not going to work out and I'm going to destroy myself again for you.