best friends? I think not

a lot of people I know have best friends I did... my best friend really lied to get away from me and it hurts me how she did, and the fact she did kills me. she said : "If you stop being my friend, I will commit suicide," I already have... "I will pay someone to shoot me," I did, and they wouldn't do it well.... I guess I'm alone on my phone the only thing that can hold my tears and I'm done with best friends but what is a best friend? a person who you feel safe with a person who you know loves you and you love them.. I guess I haven't found mine.....