Behind the smile

Everyone expects so much, but I am wearing thin I'm losing my hope before the day can even begin.  Mom says I am gonna become successful  and make her proud.  Mom says I am gonna make it, imma shine.  But mom, your daughter is only alive on the outside,  She is hollow from within, she is dead on the inside.  Mom, life is not easy, it is not cosy, not at all rosy.  Mom, I am not okay, how can I say it is okay?  I want to make you proud, I know you want me to sprout,  But mom, things are not working out, how can I not say it out loud?  Everything is crumbling mom, I can't hold it all.  My hope is shattering, I am failing to stand tall.  How then can I get a hold of it all?  Mom, how do I stop myself from falling?  How do I walk when I feel like crawling?  How can I cry when the whole world is watching?  Your daughter is not perfect mom, but she is not weak.  I need you to be patient with me mom,  I need you to have faith, have faith in me.  You didn't give birth to a quitter mom,  Your daughter is a fighter,  I need to have trust, trust in me.