"Beauty"

Beauty. A deceptive thing. No matter how much makeup I wear, or heels I put on, or pretty dresses I attain, I'll always be the same once I take it off. From not caring at all to caring about it all the time. It's draining, suffocating, and exhausting. Yet everyone else seems to get it just fine, No matter how kind I try to be, Or gentle I attempt to appear, Im just the same when I let go of that mask. Nobody cares once it's taken off, They only care once I put it on, to look pretty for them, and praise them constantly. But once everything is removed and I appear to them as I am, its almost disgusting, filthy if you will. I am not effortlessly pretty or kind. Im just me. None of this work amounts to anything in the end. It's only a losing grasp as time goes on and on. In a toxic cycle, I call, Beauty.