based on the miscarriage

ay i woke up to an empty bed. its becoming more frequent and only makes me worry about days to come. as i lay in bed I try to distract my mind by thinking of shitty lyrics to pop songs but nothing could distract me from you, my dearest evangeline you are a force to be retconned with aren't you? just like your dad as I catch a glimpse of him walking down the hall. I can always tell when it's him. I had to learn at a very young age that you must know who is walking towards you. broad shoulders turned to the living room. and he turns. maybe I shuffled in the sheets too loud. I feel my body's attention immediately go to my stomach. maybe i moved the entire house I laugh to myself. as he stands there I see nothing but concern in those forest green eyes. I notice a light green ring around them. maybe I started a forest fire within you the moment milk came out of my mouth and nose and my eyes watered with tears as I threw up. everywhere I could barely see your silhouette in the backs of my eyes. "Sa- Katlyn" you call out half expecting me not to answer. I can't. I have tried calling your name for about 17 minutes now but the words roll off of my tongue into a puddle in the floor. I can still feel the milk puke.