“Barely Holding”

I wake inside a silence that hums too loud, a noise that only broken hearts can hear. I smile to seem alive, but I’ve been fading year by year. They call me complicated, but they don’t see the wars I fight.... how I hold love in trembling hands, and still feel wrong for wanting light. I care until it drains me dry, then hate myself for caring still. I give, I ache, I shrink, I hide.... I bend beneath a willful will. I crave peace, but it avoids me, like warmth afraid of my cold skin. And loneliness.......... it curls beside me, calling me “friend.” I’m tired of being almost okay, tired of being almost seen. I’m barely holding on...... but somehow, still, I cling.