Barely can hold on

My heart is always so heavy when I'm alone or even when I'm in a crowd but know one knows when I'm feeling alone or feeling sad because I became so good at hidden my feels because I'm all ways trying to help you with yours my heart is full of damng from others but broken an unstable because of my stupidity but still can be held my heart haves a lot of disappointment and mistakes that puts me down an can't find way to get up my mistakes kind of help me realize things in life an some have made me stronger my disappointment brings me down because I know that's not the real me but i make bad choices but know the good choices to keep me from falling but I can't seem to stay on track with the real me where I allow the devil to come in my life an control the evil side I'm sick of a 2 way street I just want to find my lane n stay in it an show my real me but I stub my toe I scratch my toe I even fall but I all ways seem to get back up an try it again I'm not a quieter but I know for sure I ain't good at changing for the better some times until I go thru the tuff struggles to remind me there is better things in life then putting my self thru the struggle to open my eyes up with the decision I make isn't all ways the