Ball of Anxiety

the feeling of disturbance is so heavy in me i wish i could turn away from it and flee I say i can't bare this feeling any longer but now it's a thought I ponder i clearly can bare it if it's been more than 9 months right? even though some days it feels as if me and my emotions are in a fight stressing so often about this burden I can hardly bare i can't get away from anybody's stares anger and anxiety hovers over me like a cloud the memories of embarrassing situations are so loud i want solitude without the memory of despair i'm reminded of that one unfortunate moment, i try not to care why is the thought of this so hard to bare? sometimes i just sit in my bedroom, looking at the wall with a strong stare.