baggage

bare with me, the words are unclear, trying to identify my fear, hesitant to decide, there's so much pain that i hide I struggle with finding rhymes hoping and praying for better times. I almost feel selfish, and it's hard to say because I have never been that way. how can I keep asking for more, when you still hang onto before? it stays on my record, being a whore.. reasons for you to no longer love me are galore. we both know this isn't working, let us not deny what's been lurking. it almost impossible to feel romantic, I spend all my days catering and frantic. I've begged, and I've waved red flags, the old me would have done packed bags. something you don't realize, or maybe you do, I know I forced this on you. It's true. you didn't sign up for all of the baggage. You fell in love with a young girl who became a savage. so why wait for me to say what we both know.. why wait for me to be the one to go?