Aware

I pass by the club I see how people lose themselves to the music and ecstasy, I pass by the church I see how people lose themselves to prayer and worship, I see movies, how people lose themselves to pleasure But I am catastrophically aware Aware of what I might sound like if I sing out loud, aware of how I may look stupid if i dance, Aware of how it may feel like to feel actual pleasure, In the end I lose to fear and self-shame, I wish I was not this way