Anxiety Driven. 6-28-2023

drowning in my thoughts, iv lost how to let them out of my head. and instead, i hold my breathe, until stress, suggest i rest, and fill my mind, with thoughts of good times of mine. until a smile can appear, from what started with fear, of losing my life, from lack of air. until my mind is clear, and i can think, and say that everything is A OK. but is it OK to lie to myself? and then i start blaming myself! and in seconds all i can think of, is yelling for HELP! and start sinking back into myself, and realize im holding my breath again. ....im always anxiety driven...