Anatomy of Numbness

What am I? Who have I become? All I ask is Why? Why do I feel so numb? A kaleidoscope of pain A never ending rain of shame With not a soul but my own to blame An ever losing life of a game Yet I will not weep I will not bathe in loathe and pity I will fix myself from inside the deep A battle of blood and nothing pretty I have let go the shackles I've given myself To break through the cages of my mind which is thyself