An Ocean

I can't care, I won't I don't care at all. But its the drop in my tummy, the gurgle in my throat. A salty sting in my eyes, a rise of bile. It's the way my breathe is laboured in a minute that feels like forever The way my chest seems to be on fire, as if filled with water. I don't care, but it feels like a strong ocean tide hitting the shore rocks when your name is mentioned. It feels as though I'm stuck in a river with an unstable current. It's a peaceful ocean, too far away from land, from rescue. It's phobia, what used to be satisfactory I really really can't care, I won't. I don't. But you are a flood, filling every part. You are an ocean so vast, I can't swim out. You are a serene water, causing boats of trouble You are waters, I perish in.