Amends in my head

To stay focused on a single thought feels like a lot, when a head full of questions sets ablaze the desire to shut your brain off. Although I tend to amend the thoughts in my head because then I am at war with the things that I do not understand. I'm feeling exhausted not knowing where to begin! What feels right compared to what is real life collides in my mind and if I'm honest I'm scared for a moment because I can't make out how to feel about how loud my head can get, the one place I thought I felt safe I've learned I can't escape. And then I have to fray away from the world for a moment to clear the air I've suffocated in, a dark room where I lay in my bed. Because peace only exists in the silence of the loud thoughts when I'm alone and trying to make amends in my head.