Am I so hard to love?

Am I so hard to love? If I was so hard to love, why let the words come out? If I was so hard to love, why pretend? If I was so hard to love, why did you stay? I came back time after time, only for you to tell me I did nothing wrong. That I was perfect. That you took full accountability. But what changes this time? The only thing that ever grew was my hope for us. You learned that I would stay through almost any circumstance. I thought I was teaching you love, but all I was teaching you was that I'd stay, no matter the reason. Even if I believed I was so hard to love. Apology after apology, I believed every word—foolishly. How could I not? I believed you had the truest intentions. I looked at you with hearts in my eyes as you held my hand once again and gently led me back into the hole I had just crawled out of, only for me to beg you to help me back up. But no one waits at the top for me.. So I climb out on my own. Then you call me back home. But you didn't want me home when I stayed. You only wanted me once I learned how to leave.