am I not enough

am I not enough even though I act tough and like nothing is wrong but im just not that strong I keep it all together behind a smile I just don't think I can take this revile when I take it, it all builds up inside all of those thoughts of suicide at school they ask what's wrong but I just smile and play along at home they all yell and scream and as I look at them I can feel my eyes gleam all the hatred everyone puts in me I wonder if they would really care if I set myself free but I keep everything a secret while it has always been my covet no matter how hard I try and try I will always want to die leaving me asking everyday why am I not enough