Am I Broken.

I want to feel love like the fairy tales have told. To find that perfect person, that someone I can hold. But I can't flirt or mingle, and just when they close. I start to feel quite nauseous and then I go to ghost. The idea of love is blissful, like a crystal out of reach. But when it's in possession, my mind just starts to screech. EW EW EW is all I think, I just can't understand. Why do I hate love, but it's something I demand. Am I broken inside out, or just inside my brain. I feel like there's a missing part, making me insane. I want to be loved, I swear I do, But the doing is too much, I love the personality, But disgusted by the touch.