Always inside

I felt Sick, a funny taste in my mouth. A realisation, an immediate rush of joy, of love! I loved you more than life already, Just knowing you were there, growing inside me, I felt so content, right. All I want is strawberries! No matter how sick I am, Strawberries, more strawberries! I would gently rub my already swelling belly, Smiling, dreaming of who you would be. Would you look like me, have your dads dark eyes? Have my red hair or my fiery temper? something changed, I couldn't feel certain, uneasiness. something that I didn't want to feel. "I'm so sorry" she said "No Heartbeat" she said My head spinning, my stomach turning over and over. You were gone, but still there too. My heart and my body must have loved you too much to let you go. The wait, the agonising wait. Still sick Still strawberries Still every sign that you were still there, but gone. They had to take you away from me. I wanted to keep you so much, hold you inside me always. But I do, i hold you in my heart every single day And One day my angel baby, I will finally hold you, In my arms. Kiss you gently on your sweet brow and whisper, Mummy loves you.