always a doll

you wanted a toy to play with, to destroy as a porcelain doll i knew i could provide, afterall. I've been played with before so it was me i thought you'd adore you'd leave me on my own in the dark, your well-being unknown for days and nights I'd pray you'd come back okay but for you, it was just a game. one wrong word i could say would send you down and ruin your day im sorry, im so sorry it never mattered, how much i could say the night was ruined the call was deafened as i began to wear myself thin bending backwards, holding in youd push my buttons; reach my anger within my, you probably had a wicked grin "you're scaring me" you whine but i know you were fine you wanted me to stay in line a doll should never raise her voice to her master i couldn't see the way out my paranoia; could you hear me when i was out and about? would you know, somehow that i wanted to break my vow? i lied. i lied, i fled. i wanted to feel safe again, in my bed. for months, i dread. finally, i break i tell him everything about you i go through all my tissue they way you made me feel trapped, scared, i could never heal i became a ghost to you but that was fine with you.