Alone on Christmas

I wake up 6am i turn to look at you but you left forever ago I why am I even up I get up shower leave the house stained with your memories 10am I'm back at the house the only house on the block without lights decorations without joy I go to the closet where all the decorations were all crammed in a box at the top pictures of you of us on Christmas laughing together just a reminder you still aren't here I throw it all into the fire watching us melt away no lights no smiles no joy not this Christmas I burnt the roast forgot the stuffing melted your favorite spoon fuck this I'm done I cut my hand as the blood falls so do tears why am I alone I'm driving to your house green red white lights in your room cars flood your driveway cause you're not alone I walk up to your door heart pounding palms sweating why am I here should I be here No you left so I should leave still I knocked I waited my heart had already been frozen soild you opened the door surprised shocked I smiled you still looked the same asked if I wanted to come in I gave you the present you always wanted I had under my bed your man comes to the door I smile even bigger and left tears frozen in my face