Alone in a Room Full of People

I used to have someone to talk to, someone who understood me, someone who could just sit in silence and still make me feel heard. But now that person is gone. So I talk to myself, only in my head. But I don’t understand me – so how could she? She was always there, so how can I not be? I think about everything and nothing. Thoughts spinning until I zone out, staring at one point until the world around me blurs away. It’s like being alone in a room full of people – alone, but not lonely. I drift into my own world, watching myself from the outside, seeing how it must look: like I don’t care. But I do. I really do. I care so much it hurts. I wonder if you can’t sleep at night, if you’re stuck in the same thoughts as me, if your chest feels just as heavy. Because I care about you. More than you know. And I want to be that someone for you.