Alone

I am so very alone As I sit here realizing I pushed him away Was I right to do so But I was dying inside I lied to myself as well as him I push all that know me away When I am dying inside I don't know me anymore I am not me, not since osteoarthritis Dropped in unannounced 10 plus years ago I destroy everyone in my path I keep falling down Tired of picking myself up I am so very alone But I want more, without falling apart I want to be free of pain So I can be me again The happy go lucky girl She's been gone for ever more I don't want to be alone no more I want the one for me He's out there somewhere