all alone again

In my room again, All alone with a little sunlight, coming from outside the door, seeing my shadow with my phone in my hand, listening to cas, With a cold bed, feeling a bit warmth in the head, my heart feels heavy, It's hard to breathe, It's hard to stand up and call for help, hearing my mother's tired scream, and my baby sister's cry, all alone in a place with people, and all alone with a place without people, In so called earth with billions of people, i feel so lonely, loved the thunderstorm unconditionally, yet, it used to be scary, but, drowning with all this thoughts in my head, loud became therapy, drawing stars in my wrist making sure nothing bleeds, screaming with pain making sure it was silent, wanted to cry, wanted to let it all out, but all i have is me, all i have is me, Im the problem.