alive or just breathing

I can feel air coming thru my lungs just like the way you came in my life I had so many dreams for us until you disappeared now I don't know if I am alive or just breathing my thoughts is the only way I can talk to you cause sometimes I can feel air but I can't breath but now that I think of it you are in some better place where you don't feel any pain sometimes I wish I died first cause now I am trapped with a chain I still see you in my dreams but that's not real I don't even get a chance to hold you even in those dreams I can't get any air How cruel is this? life ain't fair now I guess... I am alive but not breathing