afterthought

i lay here alone i'm clutching a pillow i'm watching the sun rise and feeling the tears flow so many nights i come out to play but in a few hours it all goes away cast off, tossed aside - i take myself home something more interesting happened along maybe i'm too vanilla my kinks are too boring my sex is too bland and i just leave you snoring but i'm not just some toy i am human indeed remember i have a heart and that heart can bleed i thought maybe you could be all that i sought now i wonder am i just an afterthought?