after school today

I usually see you walking around outside, I didn't see you all day and it didn't break my stride, suddenly my good thoughts are foggy, and I see you walking around, God, I'm so sorry. then I sadly frowned. is that when i should have said my piece? that I think your good? im sorry? but instead I sadly sigh, and look away. did you know...well of course you don't, this is something only I would know. when you walk by me, I always look back. but you don't. what's the deal with that? I've told my friends, that seeing you makes me mad, but if you dont look back at me, your just something I never had. same goes for me, I want to know what you think. it's normal I guess to cut me off from your life, but waving at my friends?? you cut me like a knife. your siloette shadow haunts my memory, I'm guilty, your honor, I'm selfish, I plee. all I did was look at you and still I feel so mean, but you not looking back makes me obscene.