Afloat

I wish you could feel how I feel just spend one day in my head and maybe you would understand I am not perfect I am far from it I feel suffocated I am in an endless loop and there is no way out i am lost I hold on to you because I need an anchor I need someone to keep me afloat but I am slowly bringing you down with me I push you away and say hurtful words that I do not mean I wish you could understand that i would never want to hurt you but it's who I am ,I hurt I want you to be happy but that would mean leaving me help me choose because I will grab onto you and never let go ,I am used to toxic love because it is the only love I have ever known but you do not deserve that so just let me sink while you stay afloat