addressing you, with love

Adressed to you; but to really to me <3 And after some time, when I thought back to the day I met your parents, it dawned on me that I could not remember. I could not remember if I bought your mom flowers and wore a cute dress, if my hair was brushed or if I still wore excessive jewerley. I could not remember if I slept over the night or just stayed for lunch. It took me a second to admit to myself, that it doesn't really hurt like I'd anticipated - really the absence of a memory so distance did not ache at me immediately. As this confused me, I started to contemplate - why? Maybe I truly am okay without you. The impact of the thought that there will likely not be another chance to replace that memory that is now forgotten, is deeper now than before. There will not be another chance for us, and in opposition, the phobia sinks in: I am slowly forgetting all the moments we shared together. I let this hurt me as deeply as it needs, because I know, this is my time to say goodbye to you, to hold space for you for one last stretch, before I fully let you go. I hope you are healing and giving yourself what you need. All the best, till you cross my mind again. Addressing you, with love.