ABYSS

I'm all smiles, I always was. Glowing with the dazzle of youth and innocence, Being kind of stubborn and wild, Yet a careless free spirit, a precious, Tender soul, with nothing but love to give. One that never failed In brightening everyone's days, Including the rotten ones that didn't deserve, Not even my regard. What I look like from the outward of my being, Does not even get close To the black, dusty clouds Surrounding my mind for the time being. I'm well aware I apparent many things. None of them get even close to reality. I don't even try that hard anymore, To hide my emotions, Because I'm used to be this way, So it doesn't really matter anymore, I guess nothing ever does When you feel sheerly empty. But at the same time I feel so trapped. As if I was in a cage, Between bars. Or like I just drowned Into a vast ocean I cannot escape. With no forcefulness To get rid Of the chains that hold a tight grip over me, nor familiar arms to appease my fears. When I think it is going to get better, It doesn't but make me fall deeply, Despite my vain efforts, Into a savage place, clearly not one dear, But one I hate immensely, An abyss...