Abandoned

Deep inside me sits these contradictory feelings that I can't explain. I want you to do better and I want you to feel the pain. I want you to get past this but be marked the same. I want you to break free with the last memories of me shaking my head in shame. I want so much for you and yet nothing seems to change. Love and hate sit enraged and engaged in hypothetical situations I can't solve and I think I'm going insane.. So now that you're gone - I have no one left to blame.