A Wandering Soul's Thoughts

What's the matter with me, Only after words have been spoken, actions taken and thoughts ran wild--- do I hate myself, only then do I wish I had never spoken In this state of mind I'm most vulnerable--- funny thing tho I'm a sensitive person, a slight change in your tone or body language is enough to plunge me into an insurmountable sea of thoughts that steals the very breath God has given me, numbs my heart and weaken my bones. A blessing and a curse this is however; because now I only experience this attack once or twice every week. I mean it's definitely an improvement from having to drag my mind from the depths of thoughts so dense and pitch it can cover a quasar's illumination. This fake personality like a parasite feeds on my inner being eating away at my very sanity and truth. It has confined me in it's cage leaving me without a choice without a voice to be heard a story so profound yet cannot be heard. This fake personality has stolen from me my truth. Like a puppet it has rendered me emotionless, the very thing that makes me a human–unique in my own way.