a mother's pain

alone with my thoughts and the never ending pain that is driving me insain I try my best to please you all but no matter what I'm not enough ... I can't even breath heaven help me please the agonizing pain like a beast at it's feast clawing and tearing flesh apart trying to reach my beating heart within my chest I can not panic but it's to much pain the bitter sting of death ..that never seems to faid away caused by the lost sustained that day you murdered gone to soon son I love you so n miss you more then the stars ever so lost ,angry, alone and confused wishing some one could understand and take the pain away just for minutes to catch my breath but only parents who have lost just like me can relate to this feeling of being trapped in my personal hell a world without my first born son is killing me and driving me insane see it's a pain unlike any other and so hard to explain just a agonizing pain that never fades yet im are forced to fake smiles and say im are ok but truth is I'm dying more every day i try my best just to breath and hide the pain deep inside where it will remain ... missing my FIRST BORN SON RIP FLY HIGH MY SON RICHARD PEREZ III AKA CHACHII KAING 3-13-97/11-7-21