A Mother's heartache

I sit here every year year after year after year and I watch how mothers are treated on mother's Day I'll watch as a son of a good friend of mine that she gave up to his daddy, bring his whole family his two children and his wife to spend the weekend with his mother I'll watch as another fr of the fam whose mother was an alcoholic who was never there when she came home from school who never could dinner who lived in a bottle I'll watch her go with her two kids to her mother's on mother's Day I watched as daughter went to her mothers house we all know lived in a beer joint and was never hardly there .I see greeting cards and presents and I asked for a phone call one phone call and I may get it and I may not, and I'll watch all these mothers get all this stuff and I get nothing I can't even get my birthday I don't get Christmas unless I come with stuff I don't get Easter I can't have Thanksgiving I get none of the holidays and it's not like I want material things, and I have a family a family that I worked hard for I always had their back I was the first one at the school if there was an emergency,I went to the dentist the doctor I was a chauffeur I was the therapist I was the nurse I was the cook I was a housekeeper I sit here every year year after year after year and I watch how mothers are treated on mother's Day I'll watch as a son of a good friend of mine that she gave up to his daddy, bring his whole family his two children and his wife to spend the weekend with his mother I'll watch as another fr of the fam whose mother was an alcoholic who was never there when she came home from school who never could dinner who lived in a bottle I'll watch her go with her two kids to her mother's on mother's Day I watched as daughter went to her mothers house we all know lived in a beer joint and was never hardly there .I see greeting cards and presents and I asked for a phone call one phone call and I may get it and I may not, and I'll watch all these mothers get all this stuff and I get nothing I can't even get my birthday I don't get Christmas unless I come with stuff I don't get Easter I can't have Thanksgiving I get none of the holidays and it's not like I want material things, and I have a family a family that I worked hard for I always had their back I was the first one at the school if there was an emergency,I went to the dentist the doctor I was a chauffeur I was the therapist I was the nurse I was the cook I was a housekeeper but above all I was their mother and I love them with all i had I made sacrifices and did anything and everything for them to have everything they needed and a lot of times everything they wanted . I was not perfect I was far from perfect but I was their mother and I'm still their mother but I'm treated as a absentee mother ,a mother that abuse them, a mother that never thought of them ,a mother who did nothing for them. Treated as a stranger as if I was never there like I'm already dead I'm a burden to them a phone call is an imposition to them they don't care If I have feelings I even ask them just to acknowledge the fact that they hurt me and was told that was mean of me for wanting to hear,I'm sorry Mom we should not have hurt you! But that was being mean just for them to acknowledge that they had hurt my feelings .I don't ask a lot cuz I am that person I'm the person that will love them no matter what they do or what they say I will always be in their corner I will be the cheerleader I will be the unconditional place to land, But I don't even have the right to have that much I don't understand why I'm treated this way they met men and I forgot about me the one who did all the slumber parties the one who did the birthdays the one who was always there rooting for them they forgot the person that loved them first and who will love them last. I wanted them to have magnificent lives and stand on their own two feet and not have to worry and not have to depend on no man. but I thought they take me with them I didn't know that in order for them to have that they would have to turn their backs on me. And now it's like I'm an outsider looking in to families that I should have had cuz of one that I have don't want me they make it impossible to be a part of their lives I don't know where my kids were raised but I didn't raise my kids to have such disrespect especially for the people who sacrificed the most for them to have it all and who wanted them to have it all I'm truly sorry for everything I ever done but how long can you punish someone how long can you keep hurting someone how long can you keep pushing somebody away will they ever regret this? will they ever see the wrong that they've done ?Will they ever decide to do better? Will they ever get to know the older version of me?Are they just so consumed but everything I did wrong that they never could ever see all that I did right! Or what I did for them. I sit and I wait and I wonder and year after year is the same thing when will my family want me? CJ HOOD